Declining With Age

I'm not young enough to know everything.

Litterature

Thank you for sending me a copy of your book;

I'll waste no time reading it.

 — Moses Hadas

A Bit Severe

He has Van Gogh's ear for music.

 — Billy Wilder

Hind Sight

His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.

 — Mæ West

Forgive And Forget

He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.

 — Forrest Tucker

Us And Them

No Place Is A Good Place

eutopia = good place
outopia = no place

Say It Like It Is

unabbreviated
polysyllabic
obfuscating

Kind To Be Cruel

Always forgive your enemies; 

nothing annoys them so much.

 — Oscar Wilde

Opportunism

An unwatched pot immediately boils.

Mathematics Made Simple

Gödel's First Incompleteness Theorem

Any adequate axiomatisable theory is incomplete. In particular the sentence "This sentence is not provable" is true but not provable in the theory.

Gödel's Second Incompleteness Theorem

In any consistent axiomatisable theory (axiomatisable means the axioms can be computably generated) which can encode sequences of numbers (and thus the syntactic notions of "formula", "sentence", "proof") the consistency of the system is not provable in the system.

Incompleteness Theorem

I'm not a complete idiot.
Part of me is missing.

Hofstadter's Law

It always takes longer than you expect,
even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
 — Douglas Hofstadter 'Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid'

Insider Anagram

Rarely Heard Expression

Send More Rabbits!

Let Lying Dogs Sleep

Stipulation Anagram

Surgical Hygiene (Not Armstrong) Anagram

Opening A Flower On The Top Of The Mountain

Taking Up The Moon From The Bottom Of The Sea

The Going Out Of The Gods

Enough Said

Outclassed

Acronym

 Intelligent
Design
 Instead
Of
Teaching
Science

No Worries

Italian Anagram

Yeah … Write

Error Message Haikus

A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.

Windows XP crashed.
I am the blue screen of death.
No one hears your screams.

First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.

With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My novel" not found.

A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.

Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.

You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.

Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.

Painting By Numbers

If a theory is a palette,
then its canvas is not a blank slate.

Dressed To Kill

Earthmoving

Yet such is oft the course of deeds
that move the wheels of the world:
small hands do them because they must,
while the eyes of the great are elsewhere.

 — JRR Tolkien The Lord Of The Rings