Eternal Dilemma Of Exispencilism

Said Hamlet to Ophelia:
'I'll draw a sketch of thee.
What kind of pencil shall I use?
2B or not 2B?'
— Spike Milligan 'A Silly Poem'

Dalek Domestication: Teething Problems

Caption: THE ORDINARY WORKING CLASS HOME OF A MIXED PAKISTANI-CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE. IT IS FRIDAY. WIFE IS LAYING THE TABLE. SHE'S ABOUT 40-ISH. MIXED ALONG THE HOUSE ARE TOUCHES OF ISLAMIC INFLUENCES. A BRASS GOD ON THE MANTELPIECE. A PARROT IN CAGE ON STAND. A STUFFED DOG BY FIREPLACE. A GRANNY IS DOZING BY THE FIRE. THE WIFE HUMS A TUNE. THE DOOR TO THE ROOM EXPLODES, AND THROUGH IT COMES A DALEK WITH TURBAN ON AND A FOLDED UMBRELLA HANGING FROM HIS SIDE. WOMAN DOESN'T TURN ROUND.

Dalek (Pakistani accent): Hel-loh, Dar-ling, I-am-back.
Woman: You are late tonight.
Dalek: The tubes were full of comm-u-ters.
Woman: How did you get on then?
Dalek: I ex-ter-mi-na-ted them.
Woman: Oh, no wonder you're tired.
Dalek: Yes, ex-ter-mi-na-ting is hard work.
Woman: Never mind, I've got a nice cup of curried tea for you. How's Mr Banerjee?
Dalek: I ex-ter-mi-na-ted him too.

DOG IN THE GRATE BARKS 'WOOF, WOOF, WOOF'. DALEK POINTS EXTERMINATOR AT HIM. SHOOTS. DOG EXPLODES.

Dalek: Put him in the cur-ry.

SECOND DOOR TO ROOM EXPLODES. A TWO-THIRD SIZE DALEK WITH SCHOOL CAP ON COMES IN. IT AIMS AT A VASE ON MANTELPIECE. IT EXPLODES.

Woman: Johnny, have you finished your homework?
Boy Dalek: Yes. I de-stroyed it.

HE POINTS EXTERMINATOR AT SLEEPING GRANNY.

Woman: You've exterminated granny!
Dalek: Put her in the cur-ry.
Parrot: Hello, sailor...Hello...

SHOOTS PARROT IN CAGE.

Dalek: Put him in the cur-ry.
Woman (to camera): Now you know what's wrong with this country.

ANOTHER EXPLOSION AS TV SET OR SOME OBJECT BEHIND HER EXPLODES. AS WE FADE OUT THE TWO DALEKS DESTROY VARIOUS OBJECTS: CLOCK ON MANTELPIECE, VASES, LAMPSTAND.

— Spike Milligan 'Pakistani Daleks'