Monday 28 February 2011
Princesses
You make life a fairy tale …
Grimm!
— John Cooper Clarke 'Twat'
Sunday 27 February 2011
Saturday 26 February 2011
Friday 25 February 2011
Thursday 24 February 2011
Wednesday 23 February 2011
Tuesday 22 February 2011
Monday 21 February 2011
Place To Be
Your sacred space is where you can find yourself again and again.
— Joseph Campbell
— Joseph Campbell
Sunday 20 February 2011
Phlegmish Humour
Walloonphobia: fear of Walloons
Saturday 19 February 2011
Friday 18 February 2011
The Unremunerated
Take a look you may see me on the ground
For I am the parasite of this town
For I am the parasite of this town
— Nick Drake 'Parasite'
Thursday 17 February 2011
For Nothing
So the great affair is over
but whoever would have guessed
it would leave us all so vacant
and so deeply unimpressed
It's like our visit to the moon
or to that other star
I guess you go for nothing
if you really want to go that far.
but whoever would have guessed
it would leave us all so vacant
and so deeply unimpressed
It's like our visit to the moon
or to that other star
I guess you go for nothing
if you really want to go that far.
— Leonard Cohen 'Death Of A Ladies' Man'
Like A Stray Dog In The Night, I'll Shuffle Off Alone
We all make our futures
but I have lost mine;
but I have lost mine;
I'm hoping for a miracle
but finding no sign....
— Peter Hammill 'This Side Of The Looking-Glass'
— Peter Hammill 'This Side Of The Looking-Glass'
Adrift
Adrift without a course,
it's very lonely here,
our only conjecture
what lies behind the dark.
— Peter Hammill 'Childlike Faith in Childhood's End'
— Peter Hammill 'Childlike Faith in Childhood's End'
Between The Shadows Of His Memory
Imagine blue dissolve into the empty night
— Neil Young 'Touch The Night'
Done
When the day is done
Down to earth then sinks the sun
Along with everything that was lost and won
When the day is done
When the day is done
Hope so much your race will be all run
Then you find you jumped the gun
Have to go back where you'd begun
When the day is done
When the night is cold
Some get by but some get old
Just to show life’s not made of gold
When the night is cold
When the bird has flown
Got no-one to call your own
Got no place to call your home
When the bird has flown
When the game’s been fought
Newspaper blown across the court
Lost much sooner than you would have thought
Now the game’s been fought
When the party’s through
Seems so very sad for you
Didn’t do the things you meant to do
Now there’s no time to start anew
Now the party’s through
When the day is done
Down to earth then sinks the sun
Along with everything that was lost and won
When the day is done
Down to earth then sinks the sun
Along with everything that was lost and won
When the day is done
When the day is done
Hope so much your race will be all run
Then you find you jumped the gun
Have to go back where you'd begun
When the day is done
When the night is cold
Some get by but some get old
Just to show life’s not made of gold
When the night is cold
When the bird has flown
Got no-one to call your own
Got no place to call your home
When the bird has flown
When the game’s been fought
Newspaper blown across the court
Lost much sooner than you would have thought
Now the game’s been fought
When the party’s through
Seems so very sad for you
Didn’t do the things you meant to do
Now there’s no time to start anew
Now the party’s through
When the day is done
Down to earth then sinks the sun
Along with everything that was lost and won
When the day is done
— Nick Drake 'Day Is Done'
Wednesday 16 February 2011
Tuesday 15 February 2011
Einstein's Riddle
There are 5 houses of 5 different colours. In each house lives a person of a different nationality. Each of the 5 residents drinks a certain type of beverage, smokes a certain brand of cigar, and keeps a certain pet. None of them have the same pet, smoke the same brand of cigar or drink the same beverage.
The question is: Who owns the fish?
Clues:
The Brit lives in the red house.
The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
The Dane drinks tea.
The green house is on the left of the white house.
The resident of the green house drinks coffee.
The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
The resident of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
The resident of the centre house drinks milk.
The Norwegian lives in the first house.
The person who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
The person who keeps the horse lives next to the one who smokes Dunhill.
The person who smokes Bluemasters drinks beer.
The German smokes Prince.
The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
The question is: Who owns the fish?
Clues:
The Brit lives in the red house.
The Swede keeps dogs as pets.
The Dane drinks tea.
The green house is on the left of the white house.
The resident of the green house drinks coffee.
The person who smokes Pall Mall rears birds.
The resident of the yellow house smokes Dunhill.
The resident of the centre house drinks milk.
The Norwegian lives in the first house.
The person who smokes Blends lives next to the one who keeps cats.
The person who keeps the horse lives next to the one who smokes Dunhill.
The person who smokes Bluemasters drinks beer.
The German smokes Prince.
The Norwegian lives next to the blue house.
The person who smokes Blends has a neighbour who drinks water.
Monday 14 February 2011
Sunday 13 February 2011
All My Colours Turn To Brown
Saturday 12 February 2011
Little Golden Book Titles That Never Made It
You Are Different And That's Bad
The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
Dad's New Wife Robert
Fun Four-Letter Words To Know And Share
Hammers, Screwdrivers And Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
The Kids' Guide To Hitchhiking
Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
Curious George And The High-Voltage Fence
All Cats Go To Hell
The Little Sissy Who Snitched
Some Kittens Can Fly
That's It! I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
Grandpa Gets A Casket
The Magic World Inside The Abandoned Refrigerator
Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
The Pop-Up Book Of Human Anatomy
Strangers Have The Best Candy
Whining, Kicking And Crying To Get Your Way
You Were An Accident
Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
The Man In The Moon Is Actually Satan
Your Nightmares Are Real
Where Would You Like To Be Buried?
Eggs, Toilet Paper, And Your School
Why Can't Mr. Fork And Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
Places Where Mommy And Daddy Hide Neat Things
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
The Boy Who Died From Eating All His Vegetables
Dad's New Wife Robert
Fun Four-Letter Words To Know And Share
Hammers, Screwdrivers And Scissors: An I-Can-Do-It Book
The Kids' Guide To Hitchhiking
Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her
Curious George And The High-Voltage Fence
All Cats Go To Hell
The Little Sissy Who Snitched
Some Kittens Can Fly
That's It! I'm Putting You Up for Adoption
Grandpa Gets A Casket
The Magic World Inside The Abandoned Refrigerator
Garfield Gets Feline Leukemia
The Pop-Up Book Of Human Anatomy
Strangers Have The Best Candy
Whining, Kicking And Crying To Get Your Way
You Were An Accident
Things Rich Kids Have, But You Never Will
Pop! Goes The Hamster...And Other Great Microwave Games
The Man In The Moon Is Actually Satan
Your Nightmares Are Real
Where Would You Like To Be Buried?
Eggs, Toilet Paper, And Your School
Why Can't Mr. Fork And Ms. Electrical Outlet Be Friends?
Places Where Mommy And Daddy Hide Neat Things
Daddy Drinks Because You Cry
Friday 11 February 2011
Choices Choices
I'd rather have a bottle in front of me
than a frontal lobotomy.
— Tom Waits
than a frontal lobotomy.
— Tom Waits
Thursday 10 February 2011
Declining With Age
I'm not young enough to know everything.
Wednesday 9 February 2011
Litterature
Thank you for sending me a copy of your book;
I'll waste no time reading it.
— Moses Hadas
Hind Sight
His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork.
— Mæ West
Forgive And Forget
He loves nature in spite of what it did to him.
— Forrest Tucker
Tuesday 8 February 2011
Say It Like It Is
unabbreviated
polysyllabic
obfuscating
polysyllabic
obfuscating
Kind To Be Cruel
Always forgive your enemies;
nothing annoys them so much.
— Oscar Wilde
Monday 7 February 2011
Sunday 6 February 2011
Mathematics Made Simple
Gödel's First Incompleteness Theorem
Any adequate axiomatisable theory is incomplete. In particular the sentence "This sentence is not provable" is true but not provable in the theory.
Gödel's Second Incompleteness Theorem
In any consistent axiomatisable theory (axiomatisable means the axioms can be computably generated) which can encode sequences of numbers (and thus the syntactic notions of "formula", "sentence", "proof") the consistency of the system is not provable in the system.
Incompleteness Theorem
I'm not a complete idiot.
Part of me is missing.
Part of me is missing.
Saturday 5 February 2011
Hofstadter's Law
It always takes longer than you expect,
even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
— Douglas Hofstadter 'Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid'
even when you take into account Hofstadter's Law.
— Douglas Hofstadter 'Gödel, Escher, Bach: An Eternal Golden Braid'
Friday 4 February 2011
Rarely Heard Expression
Send More Rabbits!
Thursday 3 February 2011
Opening A Flower On The Top Of The Mountain
Taking Up The Moon From The Bottom Of The Sea
Wednesday 2 February 2011
Tuesday 1 February 2011
Acronym
Intelligent
Design
Instead
Of
Teaching
Science
Error Message Haikus
A file that big?
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
Windows XP crashed.
I am the blue screen of death.
No one hears your screams.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My novel" not found.
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
It might be very useful.
But now it is gone.
Windows XP crashed.
I am the blue screen of death.
No one hears your screams.
First snow, then silence.
This thousand dollar screen dies
So beautifully.
With searching comes loss
And the presence of absence:
"My novel" not found.
A crash reduces
Your expensive computer
To a simple stone.
Three things are certain:
Death, taxes, and lost data.
Guess which has occurred.
You step in the stream,
But the water has moved on.
This page is not here.
Having been erased,
The document you're seeking
Must now be retyped.
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