Aliens Giving An Anal Probe

A Separate Creation

In the first place, 

God made idiots. 

That was for practice. 

Then he made school boards.

 — Mark Twain

Elections = To Silence

The difference between a democracy and a dictatorship is that

in a democracy you vote first and take orders later;

in a dictatorship you don't have to waste your time voting.

 — Charles Bukowski

Better Read When Dead

Saint: A dead sinner revised and edited.
 — Ambrose Bierce

DV8

Without deviation progress is not possible.
 — Frank Zappa

A Dying Breed

While I do not suggest that humanity will ever be able to dispense with its martyrs, 

I cannot avoid the suspicion that with a little more thought and a little less belief 

their number may be substantially reduced.

 — John B. S. Haldane

A Bad Sign

Cheap At Half The Price!

Good Morning Sir. How Are You Today?

Why Voters Elect Selfish Uninformed Unintelligent Philistines

The political system is representative democracy.

они называют его "Flipperov"

Fowl Play

Thank God It's Friday

Hjalti's couplet that almost sparked war between pagans and Christians in early Iceland:

Vilkat goð geyja
grey þykkjumk Freyja

I will not blaspheme the gods,
but I think Freyja is a bitch

Wine Appreciation

Epicycles

Two Artists Having A Thomas The Tank

You Can Prove Anything With Statistics — Even The Truth

How To Vote Card

Q.I. Test

Doorknock Appeal

Fear Is A Man's Best Friend

Moral Philosophy

"The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed"

Grooming

Confidence Trick

Fundamentalist Christians: people who think that they can live forever by believing something written down.

A Witty Saying Proves Nothing

Spoiled

Cell Block

Inverse Proportions

The most costly of all follies is to believe passionately in the palpably not true. 

It is the chief occupation of mankind.

 — H. L. Mencken

Sorry

To apologise is to lay the foundation for a future offence.

 — Ambrose Bierce

Rubbing Out For God