There's Always 1 Killjoy

One Child Policy (A Modest Proposal)

Lolled Into A False Sense of Security

How To Save Ecosystems

Stove Detectors

Perfectamundo

"Then God looked over all he had made, and he saw that it was very good!"

Genesis 1:31 

i.e. When our imaginary friend looked over his handiwork,

a world in which beings that feel pain and terror are eaten alive, 

his judgement was "very good!"

No 'L'

Conditions May Apply

The large print giveth, 

and the small print taketh away.

 — Tom Waits

Q.E.D.

If ignorance is bliss, 

why aren't there more happy people?

Consensus

The fact that an opinion has been widely held 

is no evidence whatever that it is not utterly absurd; 

indeed in view of the silliness of the majority of mankind, 

a widespread belief is more likely to be foolish than sensible.

 — Bertrand Russell

Market Forces

When buying and selling are controlled by legislation, 

the first things to be bought and sold are legislators.

 — PJ O'Rourke

Mute Point

I wish people who have trouble communicating would just shut up.

 — Tom Lehrer

The Generosity Of The Rich

I have long been of the opinion 

that if work were such a splendid thing 

the rich would have kept more of it for themselves.

 — Bruce Grocott

Compare And Contrast

Nice people have to be bastards every once in a while 

so that others can fully appreciate their gentle, loving nature.

 — Dionisio

A poor player that struts and frets his hour upon the stage and then is heard no more

If all the world's a stage, I want to operate the trap door.

 — Paul Beatty

Scientific American

Study finds that psychologists are hard-wired to think in terms of computer metaphors.

Schoolteacher Syndrome

The smugness that arises from not being smart enough to know you're not smart.

(cf morosoph:  a fool who thinks he’s cleverer than he is.)

"You are strangely troublesome."

Holiday Traffic

The shortest distance between two points is under construction.
 — Noelie Altito

Fear And Laughing

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, 

you could be missing out on the joke of the century.
 — Dame Edna Everage

Procrastination

Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.

Lab Rats

Experience is what enables you to recognise a mistake when you make it again.

Memento Mori

The United States has made serious mistakes in the conduct of its foreign affairs, 

which have had unfortunate repercussions long after the decisions were taken.

 — Nelson Mandela

Lest We Forget

I should tie myself to no particular system of society other than of socialism.

 — Nelson Mandela

RIP

If there is a country that has committed unspeakable atrocities in the world, 

it is the United States of America.

 — Nelson Mandela

Dross

Caveat Lector

Bible Belt

Black & White

Scoop du Jour

Why Ethics Committees Attract Bullies

Ethicists issue the commands that they insist other people must obey.

Neoteny

Spooky

Selling Hope

Business Opportunity

Status Update

The Multiversity

The delicate thing about the university is that it has a mixed character, 

that it is suspended between its position in the external world, 

with all its corruption and evils and cruelties, 

and the splendid world of our imagination.

 — Richard Hofstadter

Imprinting

You Count

Peace-Keeping

B Grade

The best minds are not in government.

 – Ronald Reagan

Minority Ruled

Every decent man is ashamed of the government he lives under.

 — H. L. Mencken

The After-Death

The Fundament

Painacea

Holeness

Sanity means the wholeness of the consciousness.

And our society is only part conscious, like an idiot.

 — D.H. Lawrence

Reality Check

Fail

Stockphoto

Outsourcing Responsibility

Undead Canary

It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society.

 — Jiddu Krishnamurti

Dunces

When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: 

that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him.

 — Jonathan Swift

Poor And Applied Philosophy

Cops'R'Tops

I have never seen a situation so dismal that a policeman couldn't make it worse.
 — Brendan Behan

Rabble Rousing

I never desired to please the rabble. 

What pleased them, I did not learn; 

and what I knew was far removed from their understanding.

 — Epicurus

Purgatory

Martyrdom covers a multitude of sins.

 — Mark Twain

Destiny's Child

Parabull

Jesus Loves You

Going Forward

Pastry

It's Not Rocket Science

Good God

Machophilia

Man is an intelligence in servitude to his organs.

 — Aldous Huxley

One Of A Kind

Always remember that you are absolutely unique. 

Just like everyone else.
 — Margaret Mead

Money Puppets

Money is the string with which a sardonic destiny directs the motions of its puppets.

 — William Somerset Maugham

Doping With Hope

A leader is a dealer in hope.

 — Napoleon Bonaparte

The Selfish Egg

A hen is only an egg's way of making another egg.

 — Samuel Butler

Caveat Emptor

Creatorism

Creationism is Bronze Age science.
Creationists are Bronze Age scientists.

Branding: Sharing Corporate Values

Not The Best Model Of A Duck

You Can't Choose Your Relations

It is even harder for the average ape to believe that he has descended from man.
 — H. L. Mencken

Non Cogito Non Sum

Most people would sooner die than think; in fact, they do so.

 — Bertrand Russell

Occam's Eraser

Never ascribe to malice that which can adequately be explained by incompetence.

 — Napoleon Bonaparte

The Lore Of Averages

The average person thinks he isn’t.

 — Larry Lorenzoni

Peerless Pressure

You laugh at me because I am different, 

but I laugh at you because you are all the same.

 — Unknown

It Got Worse

Imitation is the sincerest form of television.

— Fred Allen (1894-1956)

Ends And Means

Religion ends and philosophy begins,
just as alchemy ends and chemistry begins,
and astrology ends and astronomy begins.

 — Richard Dawkins

Humbled

Don’t be so humble — you are not that great.
 — Golda Meir

Brevity Is The Soul Of Wit

Life is short.
Make fun of it.

Afterthought

There is an afterlife.
It's called death.

What's My Line?

I am a Marxist — of the Groucho variety.

 —Anonymous

The Weakest Link

Every new fossil creates two new missing links.
 — Richard Dawkins

Bank On It

I believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than standing armies.
 — Thomas Jefferson

Press Gang

A newspaper is a device for making the ignorant more ignorant and the crazy crazier.

 — H. L. Mencken

Free Market

Advocates of capitalism are very apt to appeal to the sacred principles of liberty, 

which are embodied in one maxim: 

The fortunate must not be restrained in the exercise of tyranny over the unfortunate.

 — Bertrand Russell

Political Respectability

Political language... is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable,

and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.

 — George Orwell

The Internut

Psychology

I'll Buy That

War against a foreign country only happens 

when the moneyed classes think they are going to profit from it.
 — George Orwell

Politer

When childhood dies, 

its corpses are called adults 

and they enter society, 

one of the politer names of hell. 

 — Brian Aldiss

The Two Types Of Person

Under New Managerialese

BWV 988

Adolthood

One cannot really be a Catholic and grown up.

 — George Orwell

Vacuum Tube

Made In His Image

God has no religion.
 ― Mahatma Gandhi

Marginal Utility

The satirist who writes nothing but satire should write but little — 

or it will seem that his satire springs rather from his own caustic nature 

than from the sins of the world in which he lives.

 — Anthony Trollope

The Function Of Teachers

Those who know how to think need no teachers.

 — Mahatma Gandhi

Laughter Is The Best Religion

One man's theology is another man's belly laugh.

 — Robert A. Heinlein

Revolving

One does not establish a dictatorship in order to safeguard a revolution; 

one makes a revolution in order to establish a dictatorship.

 — George Orwell

Grave New World

Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

 — Aldous Huxley

Proselytising Zeal

At least two-thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity: idealism, dogmatism and proselytising zeal on behalf of religious or political ideas.

 — Aldous Huxley

Socialisation

Convergent Devolution

Evidence Vs Ideology

Idiots

One of the penalties for refusing to participate in politics
is that you end up being governed by your inferiors.
 — Plato

Demanding With Menaces

The whole aim of practical politics is to keep the populace alarmed 

(and hence clamorous to be led to safety) 

by menacing it with an endless series of hobgoblins, 

all of them imaginary.

 — HL Mencken

Wurst Case Scenario

The Last Laugh